


Can't be what you want

by alycat



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alycat/pseuds/alycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With his body changing, Jensen is no longer sure he can be what Jared wants. When a new person enters their lives, everything between them changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't be what you want

**Author's Note:**

> Original notes and warnings from Livejournal:
> 
> Pairing, rating & kinks: J2 - NC-17 - underage, age difference (Jensen 12-14/ Jared 30-32), size kink, fingering, blow jobs, barebacking, angst.

**_Two Years Ago_  
\- - Jared -- **

Jared looked down at the boy stretched out on the bed, fast asleep. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of Jensen's naked body, one hand tucked in under his cheeks and soft pink lips slightly parted. His skin was still flushed, sticky with both sweat and come and it took all of Jared's self control to not walk over and leave more marks on the boy's body. Just when he was about to gather himself back together, wondering if he should wake Jensen up or not, the boy shifted on the bed, bending one leg, and the new position gave Jared a very good look of Jensen's tight little ass, pink hole looking incredibly inviting where it was still shining with the lube he had used while finger fucking the slender body.

Reaching down Jared pushed against his rising hard-on, willing it to go away because he knew he didn't have time to play more with the boy on his bed, he needed to get him home before the boy's parents began wondering where he had gone to. Their time together was stolen moments, a year of hidden away hours that were hard to come by and Jared sighed, pushing his arousal to the background he walked over to wake the boy up.

"Jen," he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to the boy's temple. "It's time to wake up and go home."

Jensen stirred slightly, blinking up at Jared with a slow smile on his lips.

"Jared," he mumbled and reached up to wrap his arms around Jared's neck, trying to pull him into a kiss.

"No, Jen, we don't have time," Jared protested but he still leaned in, covering Jensen's small mouth with his and licking into the wet heat, tongue sliding over full lips.

The moan that left Jensen's lips was the most delicious thing Jared had ever heard, a wanton sound that should sound so bad on a eleven year old boy's tongue. Before he could think too much about it Jared reached down, letting big hands grab Jensen's slender hips as he fitted their bodies together until he could grind down into Jensen's small but already rock hard dick.

"Jesus Christ, baby," Jared groaned when he felt the friction against his own erection. "You need to get home or... god..."

"Just... please Jared," Jensen moaned. "More... little bit more..."

His soft voice sounded thick with want and Jared could tell from the way he was breathing that his sweet little boy was already close to coming and knowing that Jensen's parents were about to take the whole family for a road trip it would be at least a week before he would see the boy again. With that knowledge he gave in to the desperate need pulsing inside him and he slid down Jensen's small frame until his mouth was hovering over the boy's pretty little cock. With the first lick over the pre-come slicked head, Jensen's whole body arched off the bed, straining for more and Jared chuckled softly to himself.

A high pitched keening rang out in the room and it even though he loved to tease Jensen, to bring him right to the edge and then back again, Jared _wanted_ just as much as Jensen did and he leaned forward to suck the cock into his mouth. Still so young and small, it wasn't hard to fit the entire length into his mouth and Jensen cried out in pleasure, pushing up once more. Jared smiled around the hot flesh in his mouth when he felt slender fingers tangle themselves in his hair as Jensen was clearly trying to reach his release, too eager to just lay down and let Jared give it to him. It was one of the things Jared really liked with Jensen, that turned him on like nothing else. He had never expected the young boy to end up in his bed, and even less for Jensen to be so damn _eager_ about every thing they did.

"Want you to...god...please Jared. Please take me, please...I need. God, I just _need_."

Jared knew full well what Jensen was begging for, the young boy always asked for the same thing and it was the one thing that Jared refused to give to him. For all the parts of Jensen he had felt under his hands, all the parts he had tasted with lips and tongue, he had never fucked the young boy. It was a weird limit to have, but it was what little morale he had left. Luckily he knew just how to make Jensen forget all about what he was begging for, he could play the slender body beneath him like the finest of instruments.

He gathered up some of the saliva and pre-come dripping down Jensen's cock, wetting the tips of his fingers before he lowered his hand to push a slick finger against the still swollen little ring of muscle. A sharp cry left Jensen's lips and the next second Jared's mouth was filled with hot bursts of come, painting his tongue, and his own cock twitched at the perfect taste. Jensen didn't taste like anyone Jared had been with before, his come not as bitter as most men and Jared couldn't really get enough of it.

He sucked at Jensen's cock at the same time as he worked the pads of his fingers over the boy's hole, not even needing to push inside to have Jensen falling apart beneath him, and he didn't withdraw his fingers until Jensen was whimpering softly and trying to shift away from Jared's touches. Carefully he draw back, dragging his tongue over the slit once more to gather the last drop of come and then he practically slithered up Jensen's body to allow the boy to taste himself on Jared's tongue.

"Want to touch you," Jensen mumbled. "Your cock...so big in my hands. Please Jared, come for me. Come _on_ me."

When Jensen's small hand closed around his cock there was no way for Jared to hold his own orgasm at bay and he came with a deep groan, silencing it against Jensen's soft mouth as Jensen jerked him through the orgasm, Jensen’s hand feeling very tiny where it stroked over his cock.

"Jesus fuck, baby," Jared sighed and flopped down next to Jensen on the bed. "You're so fucking good at that. Such a quick study."

Looking over to the boy at his side he could see the satisfied little smile on the boy's lips and he couldn't stop himself from pulling Jensen close, kissing him breathless while his come slowly cooled on Jensen's soft little belly.

"I need to get you cleaned up, baby," Jared said, dragging his fingers through the come staining Jensen's body. "Can't have you going home to your family with my come all over your tiny little body."

A slow blush crept up Jensen's cheeks and Jared knew that the boy was a bit self conscious about being small for his age but Jared couldn't help it, he _loved_ how tiny Jensen was, even more so pressed close to his own big frame.

He let himself relish in the feel of that small body for a few more moments before he finally managed to drag himself away and push Jensen towards the shower. A year spent with Jensen, getting to know the way his body moved, the sounds he made when Jared pushed his tongue inside him, there was no way that Jared could pass on the opportunity to get to see Jensen in the shower. One of the perks with his young lover was the refractory period and Jared followed him into the shower, eager to get the kid to fall apart for him once more.

-¤-

**_Now_  
\- - Jensen - -**

Jensen looked at himself in the mirror, taking in each angle of his face and trying to catalogue every change he seemed to be going through on a daily basis. He knew that he was a bit behind his fellow classmates, but it seemed like he had finally hit his growth spurt. And he hated every second of it. With a sigh he tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, trying to get them down below his wrists and cursing low under his breath when they just slid back up the second he let them go again.

"Jensen!" he heard his mother call, no doubt waiting by the door. "Get going already, you _promised_ me you would help with the grocery shopping today. And I mean _today_."

It really wasn't something Jensen looked forward to, his mom had a tendency to take far too long considering the pros and cons with every thing she touched in the store and Jensen would much rather sit at home and mope but apparently that wasn't an option for him.

"Coming, mom!" he shouted before pulling on his new black coat, one of the few things that actually fit him, but despite the perfect cut of it made him feel ever worse.

Wearing the coat he looked older and that just wasn't something he was aiming for, despite all the issues he used to have about his height, his too pretty features, he knew what Jared liked and he was seeing those things fade away with each passing day.

"Finally," his mother said with an eye roll when Jensen emerged from his bedroom and came to join her in the hall, putting his shoes on without saying any of the remarks that were lingering on his tongue.

His mother just ushered him outside before locking the door to their apartment and Jensen followed her down the stairs and across the parking lot towards their car, blinking a few times as his eyes got used to the bright light outside, sunshine reflecting off a thin layer of snow.

"Winter, great," Jensen muttered.

Winter meant it was getting even closer to his birthday, just another day to point out the way things were changing.

"I thought you liked winter," Donna said but she didn't even wait for him to answer, instead she quickly changed the subject. "Oh, did you see that there are new neighbors across the street? They seem to have bought that old house next to Mr. Padalecki."

Jensen almost tripped over his own feet at those words and his gaze snapped up to look across the street to where apartment complexes gave away to comfortable bungalows with small, neat gardens.

"Sometimes I feel bad for that man," Donna said. "No girlfriend and living in a neighborhood with so many children, not the best place for a bachelor but that house of his is a gem. Oh the neighbors, they apparently have a son a few years younger than you. Maybe you'll see him at school."

"Probably," Jensen muttered, not really knowing why he should even _want_ to meet some little kid.

Donna kept on talking a mile a minute, going from topic to topic during their short drive to the store and Jensen gritted his teeth together at how often the new neighbors or Jared came up in the discussion, neither was something that Jensen particularly wanted to talk about

"Oh well talk of the devil," Donna said when they stopped in front of the grocery store. "Look, there is Jared and I'm pretty sure those are the new neighbors he are talking to. Now isn't that a coincidence?"

Jensen had been sitting fiddling with his phone, longing to text Jared, but at his mother's words he looked up and it wasn't hard to catch sight of Jared, as always he was towering over the people surrounding him and even more so when the person next to him was a young boy who couldn't be a day over eleven. Looking at the soft smile on Jared's face, the way he was looking at the boy in front of him, Jensen felt something break apart inside of him.

"That's...our neighbors?" Jensen asked, thankful that his mother would most likely credit the break in his voice to puberty and not emotions.

"Yes," his mother said with a smile. "The son is...I think it was eleven? What was his name... oh... Jason? Jeremy? Something like that."

Without saying a word Jensen watched as Jared knelt down in front of the boy, saying something that made the kid grin wide, and in that moment Jensen was quite sure he had lost Jared for good.

**\- - Jared - -**

Jared looked up in time to see the car stop in the parking lot and it was a car he had seen often enough to be able to place it right away. When the passenger side door opened he felt his heart race at the sight of the boy stepping out and he was just about to smile and give Jensen a small wave but the boy didn't look at him, instead his gaze was locked on the ground as he followed his mother towards the store. Donna clearly recognized him though and waved, smiling brightly at both Jared and the new neighbors that he stood talking to. The boy in front of him, Jeremy, tugged at his sleeve, clearly trying to get Jared's attention back and when Jensen still ignored him Jared looked down at the small boy in front of him with a smile.

Jeremy was even smaller than Jensen had been at that same age, tiny body that was still rounded with baby fat and Jared expected to feel the tug of desire deep his belly but to his surprise it didn't come. He only paid half his attention to what the boy was actually saying, eager stories about some football game, while Jeremy's parents were smiling indulgently at their child.

"I'm sorry," the father said quietly. "He's a bit eager about this and sometimes it's a bit hard to get him to _not_ talk."

"It's okay," Jared smiled, ruffling Jeremy's hair. "I love kids, I did actually consider going into teaching myself but numbers and economy is where my heart truly lies. And talking about that, I need to get back to the bank, my break is almost over but it was really nice to see you again. Don't hesitate to come by my place if you have any questions while settling in."

Watching the family walk towards the grocery store, following the same path that Donna and Jensen had taken, Jared stayed watching them, trying to realize what had changed. He looked at the young boy walking between his parents, still waiting for the urge to rise within him but while he could feel the interest it wasn't the desperate need he felt with Jensen. Something was changing, but Jared couldn't put his finger on just what and with a sigh he turned to walk back towards his place of work. Walking he pulled his phone out of his pocket, sending off a message to Jensen.

_:: Jen. Saw you at the store, but you seemed distracted. Coming over tonight? ::_

Hours later, when he got off work, he still hadn't gotten an answer and he realized that Jensen ignoring him had very much been a planned thing, but he didn't know why. He shrugged it off, trying to not think about it but a nagging sensation had taken up residence in the back of his mind and it wouldn't leave him alone.

It only became worse when days passed by without a single word from Jensen, the boy clearly avoiding even walking by Jared's house because he hadn't seen him, not once, and Jared had a hard time focusing on anything at all no matter how much he tried. The fact that his own libido seemed to have abandoned him only served for Jared to be in a less than good mood by the time the weekend rolled around but he was grateful for two days away from work at least, he really planned to spend them doing as little as possible. Unless he could get a hold of Jensen that is. He was just about to head to the store, pick up some movies and beers, when he heard the sound of a childish voice somewhere on the other side of the fence surrounding his backyard.

"It'll be fun, _please_? How can you not like it? It's football!"

The eagerness in Jeremy's voice had Jared smiling for the first time in days and he moved closer, curious to see who the kid was talking to but he only got a few steps before the answer was given to him.

"Leave me alone," he heard Jensen answer, sounding angrier than Jared had ever heard him before.

"But it's football, it's so much fun and I'm sure we could have so much fun together. Don't you wanna have fun? Oh, I know! We could ask Jared... I mean Mr. Padalecki, to join us. I talked to him the other day and I'm _sure_ he would want to play with me. Please, Jensen."

Jeremy was talking so quickly he almost tripped over his own tongue and Jared thought it was a weird blend of adorable and annoying the way he barely stopped to breathe. The words seemed to have a different effect on Jensen though because Jared could hear the sharp intake of breath from where he was standing.

"Oh go to hell you little vermin," Jensen snarled, so much venom in his voice that it made Jared stop in his steps, his eyes going wide. "You really think you're all that? I'm sure Jared wants to _play_ with you but I fucking don't. You're just a stupid little kid and I wish your family had never moved here. Everything would be so much better if..."

"Jensen!"

Jared called out the boy's name just as he opened the half hidden door in the fence and stepped outside, taking in the scene in front of him. Jensen spun around, looking up at him with wide eyes that were full of of surprise, fear and a hint of guilt. There was something else in his eyes as well, something that Jared couldn't place but before he could think about it too much he found himself with his arms full of a sobbing Jeremy, slender arms wrapping around his waist.

"Jensen," Jared said, trying to sound a bit softer. "That was a horrible thing to say."

Jensen didn't answer, instead he looked at Jeremy with a scowl on his face, crossing his arms over his chest and for a moment all Jared could think of was how different Jensen looked compared to the small boy he had first gotten to know, muscles starting to grow where before there had only been coltish limbs, gracefulness slowly replacing the clumsiness of early teenage years.

"I'm not taking it back," Jensen snapped suddenly, pulling Jared's focus back on the present time.

"Why doesn't he like me?" Jeremy mumbled, face hidden against Jared's chest.

Jared was just about to ask the same when he looked up from the boy in his arms and caught a glimpse of something he was quite sure Jensen hadn't intended for him to see; the boy was looking at him and Jeremy with so much hurt and sadness in his eyes that it took Jared's breath away but before he could say anything the look was gone, replaced by another scowl.

"Because you're taking what's supposed to be mine."

The words were spoken so quietly that Jared doubted Jeremy heard them, he wasn't even sure Jensen realized that _he_ had heard them. With a last half-mumbled curse Jensen spun around and disappeared around a corner, leaving Jared to stand there with a sobbing kid in his arms and no real clue what the hell had just happened.

-¤-

The movie was halfway done but Jared hadn't really watched any of it, it was just playing as a background sound to the thoughts tangling together in his mind without him having any real idea of how to untangle them. His beer sat forgotten on the table, slowly going from lukewarm over to completely undrinkable but he didn't think much about that either. Instead all he could think of was Jensen, and that did surprise him quite a bit. Having stood with Jeremy in his arms, slender body pressed up against his, Jared would have expected his thoughts to be about the little brown haired boy but instead all he could think of was green eyes and freckles and the completely broken look he had seen on Jensen's face for the briefest of seconds.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden chime of his doorbell and Jared sighed and got up, not bothering to stop the movie as he went and opened the door without checking who was on the other side. Jensen looked up at him, fists clenched together at his sides and once more his eyes were full of some emotion that Jared couldn't really place.

"Jensen, what are..."

He didn't have time to finish the sentence before Jensen was pushing past him, walking into the living room and reaching down to push the mute button on the remote control. For a moment Jared stood frozen in place but then he closed the door and followed the boy, frowning when he saw Jensen standing on the middle of the floor, looking quite ready for a fight.

"Jen, what's..."

"You could at least have told me," Jensen said, voice so full of pain and anger that it made Jared's own falter away. "Three years. Three fucking years, Jared, and you couldn't even tell me to my face?"

"Tell you what?" Jared asked, feeling more confused than he had at any time during the past week.

"That you've... I mean, it's quite obvious. I saw the way you look at..." Jensen said but it didn't answer any of Jared's questions.

"The way I look at what?" Jared asked, taking a step closer only to have Jensen flinch away.

"At Jeremy!" Jensen spat. "Look, I know I'm not what you want anymore but... it hurts, okay? I thought that maybe, just maybe, you would have... It's not my fault."

Jared could only stare in shock as Jensen sobbed and stumbled over to the couch, sagging down on it and hiding his face behind his hands.

"It's not my fault I'm growing up."

The words were spoken so quietly that Jared almost missed them but the second he heard them a lot of small pieces clicked together. Jensen was very much different from what he had been when Jared had first brought him to his bed, but in that moment he looked like a child once more, shoulders shaking with the tears he couldn't hold back and Jared felt something inside him shatter into a million sharp pieces.

"Jensen..." he breathed out.

On the couch, Jensen flinched when he heard his name being spoken and the sight made everything hurt because Jensen had never moved away from him before.

"I shouldn't have come here," Jensen said, getting up from the couch. "I'm... I hope you... I'm sorry I can't be what you want anymore."

Moving wasn't something Jared thought about, he just knew he _had_ to stop Jensen before the boy walked out the door. Spinning Jensen around until he could see his face Jared wasn't surprised when he found Jensen red eyed, wetness catching the light and the boy tried to get away.

"Just let me go, please."

"No," Jared said, lifting one hand to cup Jensen's face, holding him in place.

"Why not?" Jensen said, voice rough with fought back tears.

Realization hit him in that moment, looking into Jensen's eyes and seeing all the emotions he hadn't been able to put a name to before, suddenly it was clear to him just what those emotions were and how much of them were mirrored in himself. It was a weird time to realize he had fallen in love with a fourteen year old boy.

"Because I love you," he said, unable to keep the words back once he knew them for real.

Jensen froze in place, his eyes going even wider as he stared up at Jared and his full lips were slack with surprise and shock.

"What?" Jensen gasped out.

"I love you," Jared repeated, amazed by how good the words felt on his tongue.

"But I'm..." Jensen started, having to swallow thickly before he could go on. "I'm getting old, I'm not..."

"You're gorgeous," Jared said truthfully. "Fuck, Jensen. You're perfect."

Jensen tried to twist away from him but Jared refused to let him go, couldn't stand the thought of Jensen walking out his door because he was sure that if that happened, the boy would never return.

"I saw you," Jensen protested, still struggling. "Outside the store, the way you looked at Jeremy. He's what you want, not me."

"I _thought_ I did," Jared agreed. "I looked at him and expected to feel what... what I've always felt but... I didn't."

A low scoffing sound left Jensen and Jared leaned in to press their lips together, feeling how Jensen shivered under his touch but at least the boy didn't pull away.

"I only feel like that for _you_ ," Jared said. "The way you look now, I still want you so damn much. All of you. I don't mind you growing up, baby. I'm looking forward to it."

He didn't know what it was that made Jensen believe him, but he could see the very second it happened and then he found himself with Jensen clinging to him, soft lips pressing kisses all over his face and still slender arms wrapping around his neck.

"I love you," Jensen breathed out against his lips. "I thought you... At first you didn't want to sleep with me because I was too young and then... I just..."

"Oh Jen," Jared gasped, tugging the boy in closer. "I _always_ wanted to sleep with you, it drove me insane to keep from doing it."

Jensen pulled away then and looked up at Jared, licking his lips slowly and Jared's gaze flickered down to track the movement, groaning at the way that pink tongue wet full lips.

"So stop fighting it," Jensen said. "Please. I want you inside me, make love to me."

Having it phrased like that swept away the last vestiges of self control and Jared lifted Jensen up easily, hands cupping his ass, and Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared's waist. Jensen's body pressed up so close to his had always been slightly breathtaking, but it was even better now, knowing full well what would happen once he got his boy to the bedroom. When he truly allowed himself to think about it, he also had to admit to himself that part of it was knowing that he _loved_ Jensen, that what was between them had turned into more than he would ever have expected. Any thing even resembling coherent thoughts left his mind when Jensen pressed his lips against the shell of Jared's ear, sucking softly before he whispered words that sounded even more filthy spilling from the lips of a fourteen year old boy.

"Want you inside me, Jay, fuck... dreamt about it. Longed for it so damn much. Put my fingers inside, imagining it was your cock but it just wasn't enough. Need more. Need _you_ to fuck me, stretch me so good. Please."

Jared thought he should get a fucking medal for not dropping Jensen when the boy just kept mumbling filth into his ear, slowly rolling his hips against Jared in search of friction and Jared could feel how hard the boy was.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he groaned, stumbling through his bedroom door and falling down onto the bed with Jensen still tangled around him. "Do you have any idea what it does to me, hearing you talk like that?"

Looking down at Jensen he was quite sure the boy knew _exactly_ what it did to him if the self-satisfied little smile on his lips was anything to go by. A smile that Jared leaned in to kiss away until he could hear Jensen gasp for air beneath him, body trembling slightly and hands coming up to clutch at his shoulders.

"Jared, _please_ ," Jensen whimpered.

There was no need for Jensen to explain just what he was pleading for, Jared knew and wanted it just as much as the boy did, but despite all that they had done, every intimate part of Jensen that his tongue had tasted, he didn't want to rush anything. He wanted to take his time to truly _savor_ the gorgeous boy on his bed. Jensen didn't seem on board on the plan however, he whined when Jensen pinned him to the bed and pressed soft kisses down his neck, feeling the heated skin under his lips and smiling when a flick of his tongue made Jensen shiver. Despite the muscles that Jensen had gained since the thing between them had first started, it was easy for Jared to hold Jensen in place, keeping the boy from arching up no matter how much he wanted to.

"Fucker," Jensen gritted out between clenched teeth.

Jared didn't answer, instead he let his teeth scrape over the sensitive spot where the skin was stretched over the boy's collar bone and he felt Jensen strain to arch up against him, soft moans of _please_ and _more_ spilling from his lips. Carefully Jared stripped the slender body from its clothing, revealing softly freckled skin, turned golden by the summer's sun, and he only pulled his lips away for long enough to tug the shirt free and throw it down beside the bed.

"Patience," he mumbled against the soft skin of Jensen's belly.

"I've had patience for three years," Jensen protested. "Now I kinda really want to get fucked."

Bolts of pure _want_ shot through his body and Jared wondered just how long he would be able to tease the boy before he himself had enough, and he was sure he would break before Jensen did. That thought was confirmed when Jensen looked up at Jared, eyes almost black with lust and his pink lips smiling up at Jared.

"C'mon, don't you wanna show me how much better the real thing is to the toys I've tried?"

The thought of Jensen working a toy into himself, the sounds he must have made when it spread him open, was enough for Jared to give up on control and quickly strip them both of all remaining clothes until it was sweat slicked skin on sweat slicked skin and Jensen was trembling beneath him.

"What do you want, baby?" Jared asked, pressing kisses over Jensen's chest and up his neck. "Tell me."

Jensen's hand slid up Jared's arms and shoulders, tangling into his hair and Jared wondered if part of the reason he kept it so long wasn't because of the way it felt when Jensen tugged at it. The thoughts slipped away when his lips found Jensen's, their tongues sliding together and when Jensen pushed his hips up Jared groaned into the kiss.

"Want... god... Jared... Want your tongue on me," Jensen mumbled. "Your fingers inside me. Just... get me ready for you."

Refusing to pull away from Jensen, Jared reached out and managed to get his hand around the bottle of lube, fumbling slightly in his attempts to slick his fingers before putting one big hand on the soft skin of Jensen's thigh and pushing his legs apart. There was no resistance, Jensen just let his legs fall apart and pushed his hips up to give Jared better access.

"God, I love this..." Jensen mumbled.

Jared smiled and stroked slick fingers over the tight muscle, feeling every ridge and fold against his fingertips, he knew just how much Jensen loved to feel Jared's fingers work him open and when he pushed one finger inside he was rewarded with the most delicious of moans.

"Yeah," he groaned, sliding down to press soft kisses and bites over the skin of Jensen's hips, pale where where shorts and swim trunks had protected it from the sun. "God, I can't believe I haven't done this before."

Another moan left Jensen, a desperate edge to it, when Jared's finger found the spot inside that always made Jensen writhe and push himself down on Jared's fingers.

"More, please," Jensen whined. "I can take it, wanna feel... oh... oh..."

His words drifted off into moans and whimpers when Jared pushed a second finger inside, angling it straight for the boy's prostate at the same time as he leaned in to drag his tongue over the hot skin of Jensen's dick. When he wrapped his lips around the crown, sucking at the same time as he pushed the tip of his tongue against the slit, Jensen let out a little cry and the next second he was pulsing his release into Jared's mouth. Jared felt it when Jensen practically melted down into the bed, tight muscles slowly relaxing their grip around his fingers but he didn't leave the boy any time to relax, instead he twisted his fingers, pushing a third one in and working them deep inside until Jensen was keening, cock hard once more.

"Jesus," he mumbled, pulling his fingers free, unable to take his gaze away from where the small hole was still open, like it was just waiting for Jared's cock to push inside.

"Take me," Jensen mumbled, looking up at Jared from under heavy eyelids.

Jared lay down beside Jensen on the bed, pressing soft kisses to full lips at the same time as he reached for the lube once more, slicking his bare cock. He hadn't been with anyone else since the thing with Jensen started, and looking back he thought that maybe that should have been a clue to his feelings for the boy, and there was no way he could stand the thought of anything between them, not even a thin layer of latex. He was about to push Jensen over on his belly, but his movement stopped when Jensen was on his side, lean backside presented to Jared and he slotted himself in close, fitting them back to chest until the full length of their bodies were pressed as close together as possible.

"Jared?" Jensen asked, trying to roll over further.

"No baby," Jared said, pressing a soft kiss to Jensen's neck. "Just like this. Want you like this."

He shifted until the slick head of his cock was pressing against the inviting heat of Jensen's asshole, feeling the muscle slowly spread around him when he inched himself forward.

"Jay, Jared..." Jensen whimpered, trying to push back against Jared. "Please please."

"Love you," Jared mumbled, his lips pressed against the boy's neck, feeling him shiver under the touch.

The words seemed enough to make Jensen relax and Jared used the opportunity to push forward, feeling Jensen's body open to him. He knew Jensen must feel the burn of Jared's cock pushing inside, but it didn't seem to bring him discomfort if the low moans coming from him was anything to go by. That thought was confirmed when Jensen shoved back hard, making Jared slide all the way inside and causing them both to groan. Looking down at the boy pressed so close to him, connected in a way they had never been before, Jared felt the love swell inside of him and he wrapped one arm around Jensen's waist, holding him still while he slowly pulled out again, holding still until Jensen was straining to push back.

"Fuck, please get back inside," Jensen pleaded. "Need to _feel_ you!"

Jared didn't answer, instead he pulled Jensen back on his cock, feeling the tight ring of muscle around his cock until he was buried deep inside his boy again. Jensen moaned, his head falling back and soft lips searching for Jared's and even with the slightly awkwardness of the position Jared couldn't stop himself from claiming the boy's mouth.

Slowly sliding in and out of the perfect heat of Jensen's body, Jared's hands roamed all over his skin, needing to touch every part of him and Jensen's own hand came back to curve over Jared's hip, pulling him closer. Their bodies found the perfect rhythm, sliding together and Jared knew when he hit that spot inside of Jensen because the boy's mouth went slack under his, the kiss turning into sharing breath.

"Yeah...yeah... god... so good, Jared... so good. Longed for this so much..."

"Love you," Jared gasped when Jensen's lips fell from his. "You're _mine_ now."

"I was... always... yours..."

The simple words, all the emotions tangled with them, made everything so much better and even though he wanted to stay inside Jensen forever he knew that he wouldn't last long, not when he felt the perfect tightness around his cock. He started moving faster, holding Jensen in place and fucking with deep, hard thrusts that had the most delicious sounds spilling from Jensen's lips.

"Yes...god...so...close..."

Jared let his hand trail down over the boy's flat belly, curling fingers around his hard cock and Jensen cried out, whole body locking down around Jared as the boy came. The added sensation of feeling Jensen lose it around his cock pulled Jared over the edge and he came hard, face buried against Jensen's soft hair.

"I love you," he breathed out, holding Jensen close to his body.

He didn't want to pull out, instead he pressed Jensen's hips even closer to his own, enjoying the slick feel of Jensen around him and he smiled when Jensen melted back against him.

"I love you too," Jensen said, voice thick and sated. "I'm... really happy we did this."

Silence stretched out between them and Jared wasn't really all that surprised by how damn comfortable it was to lay in his bed, sheets rumpled beneath them and Jensen fitting so perfectly against his own body. The mere thought of how close he had come to losing this made him pull Jensen even closer.

"You don't need to be jealous anymore," he promised the boy. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize, but you're _it_ for me. Not letting you go."

He saw Jensen smile, the boy reaching down to tangle their fingers together and Jared started drifting off to sleep just like that, bodies tangled together and and the warm smell of _them_ filling the room.

-¤-


End file.
